He nodded pitifully as she instructed him. Perhaps that’s what he needed right now. To just be told what to do. It was certainly easier that way. He was awfully tired, and hot chocolate sounded nice. He looked around the room and saw Chloe’s cup and that only brought on a fresh wave of emotion. He brought his hands up to his face and let his head fall back. How could he of let this happen.
Then Kate running to the kitchen and he looked up, confused. He heard crying and he was up instantly, running into the kitchen behind her. He paused for a second when he saw her on the floor, but he was soon with her, holding her once again. They’re just cookies,” He said, crying once again. And somewhere he knew that they weren’t and that they meant a lot more. But they could pretend for a little while that they were just cookies, and they were just crying and that the tears were meaningless and unwarranted and it was all just a big misunderstanding.
He stood up with her after a minute and took her hand. “Come on,” He said softly, wiping some of her tears away and then walking through to his bedroom. He threw back the covers and they both got in. They both knew that nothing would happen, that this was for comfort and friendship and nothing more, and it was nice to have that, it gave him a little bit of hope.
He came to her and she felt like she failed. She was supposed to comfort him, not the other way around. She wasn’t some silly girl with feelings, and how stupid it was to dwell on the past she had nothing in common with anymore. And he cried with her, and he lied to her like she did to him. They could go through this together, right? They didn’t really have any other choice after all.
She followed and snuggled with him in their bed. She felt bad for her breakdown, as he was the one that deserved the whole attention now. “I’m so sorry. So sorry. I shouldn’t… They were just cookies.” And when she said it, she almost believed in it. But now he didn’t have breakfast and they were both wet bundles of sadness. “Could you… take a day off today? I know it’s much to ask, but. I think we need this.”
He shook his head desperately when she implied he didn’t want her here. He’d grown so accustomed to her being here, and he loved it so much, he didn’t even mind sleeping on the sofa. But now that was all threatened. “Never,” He cried holding her a little tighter.
He drew in some sharp breaths when she told him to get up, trying to stop crying. He stood up and wiped his eyes, cursing himself for being so weak, but the tears kept coming, only silently this time.
He sat back down on the sofa and stared off into nothing. “What do I do Kate?” He whimpered. He felt to helpless.
“Ok. Never. Now getting up.” She helped him get up and stood with her arms folded, looking at him silently. He was one hell of a mess now and Kate promised herself to kick the ass of the girl who did this to him. Who seduced him, hurt him and used him. Did she not know how lucky she was he even looked at her? Bitch.
What was he supposed to do? Her real advice probably wouldn’t please him so she went into her “best friend” mode, forgetting about her own feelings. “For starters, you’ll go to bed. I’ll make you another cup of chocolate and we can talk then. Not to mention… Oh shit!” Now she remembered about the cookies in the oven, or maybe it was the smell that reminded her. She ran to the kitchen just to find lumps of coal instead of scones for Ollie. Fuck, fuck, fuck. She just lost the control and fell on her knees, crying and punching the floor. Nothing could go well anymore, could it? And the burned cookies… Last time they burned, she was happy. Last time they burned, she conceived a child. Last time… But it was this time and she had enough.
He couldn’t do this. He’d felt incomplete for so long and never even realized, never known what he was missing, and now it felt like a huge hole, and he still didn’t have a clue what would fill it. And he was scared, so scared as too what would happen. He just wanted everything to stop, and everything to be good, but it couldn’t. He burst into tears as she kissed his palm and keeled over, holding his head to their hands and sobbing. He didn’t know what to do, or what would happened and it frightened him because he didn’t know how to make it better.
He felt pathetic. He shouldn’t be crying like a 2 year old, he should be facing this like an adult, but it was so hard. He fell to his knees infront of Kate and took her in his arms, holding on to her for dear life and dampening her shoulder with tears. He didn’t deserve her, she should hate him, and she should have left him. “Don’t leave please,” He broke through the tears. He didn’t think he’d be able to stand it if she left him for good.
“Hey… Don’t cry, honey… It’s not worth your tears.” She whispered, their foreheads touching, her cheeks damp because even if it wasn’t worth his tears, it was worth hers. And she could not cry when he was so sad. It wouldn’t all happen if she didn’t do that Moriarty job. She would still be having a baby and he wouldn’t ever meet that girl.
When he embraced her, she just started to whisper into his ear. How everything would be fine. How it didn’t matter because mistakes happen and you only live once so you can’t worry about things. Sweet, little nothings, biter, bitter lies. But she knew he needs them. “Leave you? Nah. Only if you…” She sobbed when the memory hit her. “If you’ll tell me to. Or threaten me with arrest.” But did he really care about her presence? It was all… It was all just plain wrong. It was her who was frightened to death about losing him because of all of this. “Come on, get up. Let’s at least sit someplace warm and soft, okay? I don’t want you to catch a cold.”
He was too lost in his own thoughts to realize that Kate had left the bathroom. Everything spinning round his head, nothing sticking or keeping still long enough for him to actually focus. What would he do? What could he do? He’d ruined everything.
Then he felt Kate kneel before him and his far away eyes focused on her. Then he looked down at their hands as she took his in hers. He’d expected anger, and shouting and swearing. Not this. It was more disappointment and distress. He hated that he’d done this too her, when everything was so great, and he hated that it was all his fault.
He drew in a short breath to answer, not able to take a long one in fear that his lungs would burst and he’d end up sobbing. “About a month ago,” e whispered, his voice shaking just a bit. He looked up at her suddenly, fear and apology set deep into his eyes. “I’m sorry Kate, I’m so sorry” He said almost pleadingly, holding her hands tighter.
He looked so… vulnerable. Like never before. Well, he was close when she almost killed herself, but this was different. It was an obvious life change and even he, in his state of mind, had to understand that. Her heart trembled and she had to really control herself not to cry. A baby should be a happy event, and yet this was the second time it was only a cause of distress for him. He didn’t deserve it, even if it was his fault.
She shivered when she heard his answer. Only a month. Perhaps after he threw her away from his life. She started to shake but knew she can’t think about it now. He needed her, didn’t he? Not her tears. “Sorry? For what?” She uttered, looking into his eyes and almost taken aback by their looks. “If anything she should be sorry. Or you to her.” Kate leaned to their hands again, to hide the fact that she could no longer hold the tears. Kissing his palm, she wondered if it was an end to all of this, To their friendship, to their living together.
Kate didn’t know what to think anymore. She knew what to do though – to not cry, even though her stomach clenched and her cheeks burned. An hour ago, her life was better than ever. A job, friends, someone she could endlessly trust, always there for her. Not a house, but a home. Nightmares occurring less often with every week. And now? Apparently she couldn’t really trust him after all and it hurt. Not long ago she thought they could be a family. Maybe a fake one, maybe dysfunctional, but a family. Now he will have a family with that girl, a… a killer. Of Moriarty. Did he lose all of his mind? She would never expect him to forget himself in this way, with a woman like this. Not Oliver. Not her sweet friend who only wanted the best for everyone. But apparently he was like all other men. She shook her head and left the bathroom. Chloe already went away. Kate could only hope she would be away forever, but it was surely not the case.
Entering the room, she saw Oliver pacing around, just before he sat down on the sofa, looking very confused and lost. Kate wanted to yell at him, to punch him, to punish him for the stupidity he did, but it would be pointless. Not to mention just a little bit crazy. So she silently approached him, kneeled before him and took his hands into hers. “When?” She whispered, looking at their fingernails. She hoped he wouldn’t notice how distressed she was
"Well, yes I guess our meeting did fall down te our award winning awkwardness…" Sebastian smiled, looking around as their waiter popped out of the kitchen with their food. "Ah, finally…" He sighed a little, sitting up straighter as the plates were placed infront of them. "So, where abouts do ye live at the moment?"
Pfft. Every man knew that you have to lie about awkwardness and what not, even on a first not-date. Apparently not Moran, though. The food soon took their attention, but Kate felt bored. He wanted to know too much, and was so distant. She hoped the meeting would be more… entertaining, so to say. “Why do ye ask? Did ye want to offer me a bed?” She smirked, as she missed that kind of teasing lately.
Harriet sat in the corner of the coffee shop, waiting patiently for Kate to turn up. She had been unusually excited for tonight, and had ended up arriving at the coffee shop a little too early (which was strange, because she was usually late for everything). Every few minutes or so, Harriet would gaze out the window, in hope of seeing Kate appear.
Taking a sip of her coffee, Harriet peered out the window once more. The streets were very quiet for a friday night in London, which was perculiar, as usually by now many people were starting to go out for the evening. Harriet looked away from the window, a smile gracing her face. She couldn’t wait for tonight to begin.
It wasn’t long after their first encounter when Kate started having her doubts. Was it right to meet with all those random encounters all the time? Especially that there wasn’t even one that ended well yet. But that woman was cute and she yearned for any form of female contact that wasn’t just all spectacle talk, so she decided to go, wearing her newly bought jeans. It was a funny feeling, wear trousers for the first time In years.
She was right on time, but Harriet was already sitting there. So eager… Kate thought and entered the café. Smiling widely, she approached the woman and waved. “Hello there. How’s your coffee?”
She put the toothbrush on the counter, near the sink. Surprisingly, Kate was being pretty nice, for someone who hab been scared to death of her just a few minutes ago. She almost felt she could confide in her. It was a weird feeling, wanting to pour all your emotions out all at once and not be able to because the person standing next to you was basically a stranger and would probably just judge you for all your actions. She chose to speak, anyway. The more time went, the more she realized she definitely needed it. “Well… I’m pregnant. You might have probably guessed by now. And it could be Oliver’s. I don’t really know.” Now her eyes were starting to seriously water, and she grabbed a tissue and wiped them with it.
“Well, at least you’re not here to kill me!” She laughed, trying to lighten up the mood. It didn’t work, obviously, and she had to deal with it in a different way. Chloe didn’t look like a very touchy person, but still, she could try, because the worst that could happen was that girl slapping her and telling her to go to hell. So she got up and embraced her very gently. “Hey… It’s not the end of the world, believe me. And Oliver’s the best person for that. This stuff just… happens.” Her eyes watered too, remembering how she puked too, some time ago, even when Matt was around. But she couldn’t believe Oliver was so stupid. How could he not protect them? Maybe he just really wanted it to happen, subconsciously.